You Can’t Milk a Goat for Free
By Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds
Lyrics: You Can’t Milk a Goat for Free
(Verse 1)
I woke up at sunrise, ready to start the day,
Grabbed my bucket and stool, thought it’d be easy pay.
But those goats had other plans, they had tricks up their sleeves,
And I learned real quick, you can’t milk a goat for free.
(Chorus)
No, you can’t milk a goat for free,
They’ll make you work, oh, you’ll see.
They’ll climb your fence and headbutt your knee,
‘Cause you can’t, no, you can’t milk a goat for free.
(Verse 2)
I tried to sit ‘em down, nice and calm in the pen,
But one gave me the slip, and the chase began again.
She jumped on the roof, played queen of the hill,
While I stood there wonderin’ if I’ll ever get my fill.
(Chorus)
No, you can’t milk a goat for free,
They’ll make you sweat, oh, endlessly.
They’ll kick your bucket and run up a tree,
‘Cause you can’t, no, you can’t milk a goat for free.
(Bridge)
Now I’ve got hoof prints on my overalls,
And hay in places that I can’t recall.
They chew up my hat, and my patience too,
But what else is a poor farmer to do?
(Verse 3)
Well, I finally got ‘em still, thought my work was done,
But they just stared me down like they’d already won.
And when I turned my back, what a sight to behold,
That goat was halfway over the fence—bold as gold!
(Chorus)
No, you can’t milk a goat for free,
They’ll have you beggin’ on bended knee.
They’ll nibble your clothes, and steal your key,
‘Cause you can’t, no, you can’t milk a goat for free.
(Outro)
So here’s to the farmers, workin’ day and night,
Wranglin’ those goats, tryin’ to get it right.
But just remember, friend, before you take that leap,
You can’t milk a goat for free—oh no, not cheap!
You Can’t Milk a Goat for Free
A song as stubborn and mischievous as goats…
The song “You Can’t Milk a Goat for Free” is a satirical and humorous take on the unexpected challenges that come with goat farming. Through clever lyrics and a playful tone, the song highlights the difficulties of dealing with stubborn and mischievous goats, turning what might be a mundane farm task into a series of comical events.
Themes and Message
At its core, the song explores the idea that farming, especially goat farming, is not as easy as it might seem. The phrase “You can’t milk a goat for free” serves as a metaphor for the hard work, persistence, and patience required to deal with goats. Unlike cows, which are often depicted as more docile, goats are known for their independent and sometimes unpredictable behavior, making them a challenge to manage.
The song uses humor to depict these challenges, suggesting that despite a farmer’s best efforts, goats have a mind of their own. The goats in the song are portrayed as mischievous and unruly, engaging in antics like climbing fences, knocking over buckets, and evading capture, which adds to the humorous tone.
Breakdown of the Lyrics
- Verse 1: The song begins with the farmer’s optimistic start to the day, expecting a simple task of milking the goats. However, the goats quickly prove that they won’t be so easily managed, setting the stage for the rest of the song’s comedic struggles.
- Chorus: The chorus reinforces the main theme—milking a goat is never straightforward or easy. The goats not only resist but actively make the task more difficult, turning what should be a routine farm chore into a frustrating ordeal.
- Verse 2: Here, the farmer’s attempts to corral the goats and get them to cooperate are thwarted. The image of a goat jumping on the roof and playing “queen of the hill” emphasizes their rebellious nature and the futility of the farmer’s efforts.
- Bridge: The bridge adds another layer of humor, describing the physical toll that goat farming takes on the farmer—hoof prints on overalls, hay everywhere, and chewed-up clothes. These details paint a vivid picture of the chaotic and unpredictable environment that goats create.
- Verse 3: In this verse, even when the farmer thinks they’ve finally succeeded in getting the goat to stay still for milking, the goat has other plans. The image of the goat halfway over the fence, escaping yet again, highlights the endless cycle of frustration.
- Outro: The outro serves as a humorous conclusion, acknowledging the hard work and perseverance required of farmers. It reinforces the idea that farming is tough, unpredictable, and full of surprises—especially when goats are involved.
Overall Interpretation
The song is a lighthearted reflection on the reality of farm life, particularly the challenges of raising goats. It uses satire to poke fun at the common perception that farming is simple or idyllic, showing that it requires resilience, a good sense of humor, and a lot of patience. The catchy, repetitive chorus and playful lyrics make the song relatable to anyone who’s ever dealt with uncooperative animals, while also entertaining listeners with its exaggerated, comical scenarios.
In summary, “You Can’t Milk a Goat for Free” is a humorous, tongue-in-cheek portrayal of the everyday struggles and surprises that come with goat farming, emphasizing that nothing in farm life comes without effort—especially when goats are involved.
