Thank You Bankers, You’ve Been Swell…
Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds
Thank You Bankers – Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger
Verse 1:
Thank you, bankers, you’ve been swell,
You loaned me cash, now I’m in debt to hell.
You shake my hand with that big ol’ grin,
While I’m out here knee-deep in a pig pen.
You sit in your suits, so shiny and neat,
While I’m out chasing chickens in mud up to my feet.
But hey, I really should be polite,
So thanks, dear bankers, for making my life a fight!
Chorus:
Thank you, bankers, you’ve been swell,
But you got more nerve than a barnyard smell.
You’re slicker than a cow on ice,
And tighter than a fence that’s been nailed down twice.
You’re tougher than a mule with a nasty bite,
And stingier than a drought when the sun’s too bright.
So here’s to you with your fancy ties,
You’re the reason I’m praying for crop prices to rise!
Verse 2:
Oh, you talk about interest like it’s a sweet deal,
But your numbers are colder than an old tractor’s steel.
You’ve got a smile like a fox in the henhouse door,
While I’m out here patching up the barn some more.
You say, “It’s just business,” while I scrape by,
But you wouldn’t know hard work if a cow kicked you in the eye!
So cheers to the bankers, you’re doing great,
If I sell this farm, you’ll get a big ol’ plate!
Chorus:
Thank you, bankers, you’ve been swell,
But you smell worse than a silo full of silage smell.
You’re slicker than grease on a tractor chain,
And meaner than a rooster in a pouring rain.
You’re harder to deal with than a stubborn old mule,
And tighter than a feed bag when you’re playin’ the fool.
So here’s to you, with your stacks so high,
Thanks for the bills, while I’m barely scraping by!
Bridge:
Oh, you might know numbers, but here’s the deal,
Try wrestling a hog, see how that feels.
I bet you couldn’t tell a plow from a rake,
But you sure know how to bake my payday cake!
Chorus:
Thank you, bankers, you’ve been swell,
But you’ve got the charm of a broken well.
You’re slipperier than a hog in the rain,
And greedier than crows in the corn again.
You’re as patient as a weasel in the henhouse door,
And I’d bet you’d sell your momma for a little bit more!
So here’s to you, with your hands out wide,
Thanks for the debt—I’ll take it in stride!
Outro:
Thank you, bankers, for all that you do,
You’ve made this farm life feel like a zoo.
But don’t worry, I’ll pay back every last cent,
Just as soon as my cows learn to pay rent!
Thank You, Bankers, You’ve Been Well
by Alan Nafzger (2019)
Thank you, bankers, you’ve been real kind,
You gave me a loan, now I’m in a bind.
You sit in your suit with a grin so wide,
While I’m knee-deep in mud with no place to hide.
You talk about interest like it’s a treat,
But your numbers are colder than winter’s deep freeze.
You sip on your coffee in a fancy glass tower,
While I’m sweating and swearing at the tractor for hours.
Thank you, bankers, for all you’ve done,
You’ve turned my farm into a battle hard-won.
You’re slicker than ice, and tougher than twine,
While I pray that the crop prices finally align.
You shake my hand with that firm, cold grip,
While I watch my finances start to slip.
You say “It’s just business,” and maybe it’s true,
But out here in the fields, I’m still paying my dues.
The cows might be skinny, the crops might be lean,
But your pockets are full, all shiny and clean.
So thanks for the debt, and the fight I’ve got,
I’ll keep chasing chickens, while you count what I’m not.
Thank you, bankers, you’ve done me swell,
But you’ve got more nerve than a barnyard smell.
You’re sharper than thorns and tight as a knot,
While I wonder if I’ll ever pay off what I’ve got.
So here’s to the bankers, with ties all askew,
I’ll take what I can, and keep pushing through.
But don’t be surprised if you see me someday,
Selling this farm just to square what I pay. 
