I’m Leaving the Dairy Business

I’m Leaving the Dairy Business

Performed by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands

I’m Leaving the Dairy Business — Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger

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Verse 1:
I’m leaving the dairy business, and it’s about time,
I’m done with waking up at 4 a.m., covered in grime.
Those cows, they don’t care ‘bout my hopes and dreams,
All they give is milk and occasional screams.
So I’m trading in my boots for something less foul,
Anything’s better than another cow growl!

Chorus:
I’m leaving the dairy business, and I ain’t looking back,
Gonna find a job that doesn’t involve manure on my boots.
I’ll be a parking meter cop, giving tickets all day,
Or maybe a mime, ‘cause even silence pays.
I’ll sell ice cream in town, where it never melts,
Or be a professional dog-walker with leashes and belts.
Oh, anything’s better than milkin’ those cows,
Gonna do something that doesn’t require wiping udders down!

Verse 2:
I thought I’d give beekeeping a go,
But honey’s sticky, and bees hurt.
Maybe I’ll become a guy who spins road signs,
Just standing in traffic, twirling them fine.
Or I’ll be a mall Santa, with kids on my knee,
At least no one’s gonna moo angrily!

Chorus:
I’m leaving the dairy business, and I ain’t looking back,
Gonna find a job that doesn’t involve manure on my boots.
I’ll be a sushi chef, though I can’t stand the smell,
Or work at the DMV, sending folks to bureaucratic hell.
I’ll test mattresses all day, lying down with pride,
Or be a traffic cone, just standing roadside.
Oh, anything’s better than milkin’ those cows,
Gonna do something where I don’t hear constant “moos” now!

Verse 3:
Maybe I’ll become a professional hugger,
Or teach goats how to be yoga snugglers.
I’ll be a popcorn vendor at the baseball game,
At least popcorn doesn’t call me by name.
Heck, I’ll even consider walking folks’ ferrets,
As long as it’s not chasing cows with little merit!

Chorus:
I’m leaving the dairy business, and I ain’t looking back,
Gonna find a job that doesn’t involve manure on my boots.
I’ll be a fortune cookie writer, making up fake news,
Or be a mascot, sweating in giant shoes.
I’ll teach ballroom dancing to uncoordinated teens,
Or sell used cars, cause I know what “junk” means.
Oh, anything’s better than milkin’ those cows,
Gonna do something that doesn’t need a barn or plows!

Bridge:
I’ve had enough of the smell and the flies,
And cows that give me those judgmental eyes.
I’m ready for a change, something fun,
A job where I don’t smell like hay in the stall.

Chorus:
I’m leaving the dairy business, and I ain’t looking back,
Gonna find a job that doesn’t involve manure on my boots.
I’ll be a bingo caller, shoutin’ numbers with flair,
Or a food critic, complaining everywhere.
I’ll be a dog groomer, making pups look fine,
Or a stand-up comic with a punchline.
Oh, anything’s better than milkin’ those cows,
Gonna do something where I can wear a suit now!

Outro:
So long to the dairy, farewell to the farm,
I’m trading in this life for something with more charm.
I’m leaving the cows behind, and that’s a fact,
‘Cause anything’s better than milking in the back!

The Dairy Business -- A whimsical illustration of the dairy farmer trying his hand at being a fortune cookie writer. He is sitting at a cluttered desk surrounded by stacks 1.
The Dairy Business — ‘Cause anything’s better than milking in the back!


 

Leaving the Dairy Business

by Alan Nafzger (2010)

I’m leaving the dairy business, it’s been far too long,
Up at four every morning, where did it all go wrong?
Those cows never cared for my hopes or dreams,
Just mooed and chewed, and delivered cream.

I’m trading my boots for something clean,
No more manure fields, I’ve wiped them clean.
A parking meter cop, or a mime, maybe,
Where silence pays, and there’s no daily gravy.

I thought of bees and the honey’s sweet flow,
But bees are too slow, and honey’s sticky to show.
Maybe I’ll spin signs in traffic’s slow dance,
Or be a mall Santa, with kids on my lap’s expanse.

I’m leaving the cows and the fields behind,
For a job that’s clean and a little less grind.
Maybe a sushi chef, or a DMV clerk,
Where the pay’s in cash, not in moos and murk.

I’ll try something wild, like walking ferrets on leashes,
Or teaching goats yoga, with all the stretches and reaches.
Even popcorn vending sounds fine to me,
At least popcorn’s quiet, not mooing at three.

I’ve had enough of the smell and the flies,
And cows staring at me with judgmental eyes.
I’m ready for change, something fun and new,
Where I don’t smell like hay, and the sky’s always blue.

So goodbye to the dairy, and farewell to the farm,
I’m off to find something with a bit more charm.
Trading in this life for something with more cheer,
‘Cause anything’s better than milking year after year.

The Dairy Business -- A comedic illustration of the dairy farmer attempting a new job as a mall Santa. He is dressed in a Santa suit, sitting on a large chair with a line o3.
The Dairy Business — I’m leaving the dairy business, and it’s about time,

Originally posted 2020-09-14 12:30:17.

Author: Admin-A0HuF
Dr. Caihong Johnson is a distinguished mechanical engineer and farm agronomist with over 20 years of experience in agricultural machinery and crop science. A proud alumna of Texas A&M University, Dr. Johnson earned her Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering, specializing in agricultural equipment design and precision farming technologies. At John Deere, she has been instrumental in developing innovative solutions that enhance the efficiency and productivity of farming operations. Her expertise in integrating advanced engineering principles with practical agronomic practices has made her a sought-after consultant and speaker in the agricultural community. Dr. Johnson's work includes pioneering advancements in precision agriculture, optimizing equipment performance, and improving sustainable farming practices. She has authored numerous peer-reviewed articles and holds several patents for her innovative designs. Her commitment to advancing agricultural technology and supporting farmers has earned her multiple accolades, including the prestigious John Deere Award for Excellence in Innovation. As a farm agronomist, Dr. Johnson collaborates with farmers to implement data-driven strategies that increase crop yields and promote environmental sustainability. Her passion for agriculture and engineering continues to drive her efforts to make a lasting impact on the farming industry.

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