Texas Country Music Awards
Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds
Texas Country Music Awards At Halloween – DOWNLOAD
Some a yawl might be wondering why they don’t have this event in October. Well they tried that once…. and you know it worked out… well it was…. “okay for Halloween“.
Okay….
Welcome to the Texas Music Scene,
One room, a thousand shots; awards on Halloween.
Verse 1:
Oliver Loving and Charles Goodnight rushed the stage,
Singing “Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie” from the cowboy daze.
Judge Roy Bean pulled a pistol, said, “Best song gold and it’s goin’ somewhere,”
Gave the statue to the cowboys for authentic flair.
Goodnight’s “chuckwagon” speech caused a brawl.
Loving shot out the lights and Ma Hog called the law.
Chorus:
Welcome to the the Texas Music Scene.
Everyone in one room; the Texas Awards fell on Halloween.
Wade lost to cowboys, threw a chair,
Gary just grinned, ’cause he didn’t care.
Sam Bass made a play for the box office, again.
John Wesley shot him dead, AGAIN.
That happens each year; Billy Bob’s still on the frontier,
But that ain’t in the Telegram, ‘n’ you didn’t hear that here.
Verse 2:
Guy Clark’s ghost challenged two young guns,
To a guitar duel—before the awards begun,
The kids played their riffs but lost their nerve,
Guy grinned, picked his strings, and kept his verve.
Before the song ended, the kids’d needed a specialist,
Ambulance took ‘em out to Methodist.
Guy taught them a lesson with a pick and a grin,
It was some cowboy chords, and they’ll never try that again.
Chorus:
Welcome to the the Texas Music Scene.
Everyone in one room; the Texas Awards fell on Halloween.
Wade lost to cowboys, threw a chair,
Gary just grinned, ’cause he didn’t care.
Sam Bass made a play for the box office, again.
John Wesley shot him dead, again.
That happens each year; Billy Bob’s still on the frontier,
But it ain’t in the paper, ‘n’ you didn’t hear that here.
Verse 3:
Call watched Gus and Brandi Behlen cut the cards,
Wiley old cowboy against the Texas starlet with no guards.
But, Brandi won, a smile sweet and big,
Gus sighed, knowing she’d won big.
Maybe it was his hat, maybe somethin’ sweet,
But she strutted onto stage, light on her feet.
Gus, hung his head because he knew that he’s been beat.
She won fair and square, with what she calls “discreet”.
Chorus:
Welcome to the the Texas Music Scene.
Everyone in one room; the Texas Awards fell on Halloween.
Wade lost to cowboys, threw a chair,
Gary just grinned, ’cause he didn’t care.
Sam Bass made a play for the box office, again.
John Wesley shot him dead, again.
That happens each year; Billy Bob’s still the frontier,
But it ain’t all in the paper, you didn’t hear that here.
Bridge:
Farrah Fawcett crowned Sarah Hobbs, best hair flip,
Bill Pickett’s took on a 1500-pound Chevy, gave it a flip.
Johnny Bush, mic dead, just belted out loud,
Had folks two-steppin’, makin’ the promoters proud.
Verse 4:
Don’t bother asking Willie about it; he missed it all,
Him, Kris, Johnny, Waylon, and the boys, were havin’ a ball.
Playin’ poker on the bus with some guys from Turkey,
Everybody exited wide-eyed ‘n’ the story was murky.
Bob lost all their chips, and set off walking alone.
Willie and the Boys flew out on a jet, the Playboys walked home.
Chorus:
Welcome to the the Texas Music Scene.
Everyone in one room; the Texas Awards fell on Halloween.
Wade lost to cowboys ‘n’ threw a chair,
Gary just grinned, ’cause he didn’t care.
Sam Bass made a play for the box office.
John Wesley shot him dead.
That happens each year; Billy Bob’s still on the frontier,
But it ain’t in the paper, you didn’t hear that here.
Outro:
Halfway through the show, the King bolts out,
“There’s a bald cowboy ghost, in my dressing room.”
Turns out it was Gus, “borrowing” Strait’s hat,
Guess Brandi won more than a round at that.
Brandi’d won Gus’ hat and he needed another.
Welcome to the Texas Country Music Awards, where Halloween’s real calm,
Ghosts tip their hats, but there’s no cause for alarm.
Rum.
——
Texas Country Music Awards At Halloween – Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger
Interview Transcript: Debbie Harper & Alan Nafzger Discuss “The Texas Country Music Awards at Halloween”
Interviewer: Debbie Harper
Guest: Alan Nafzger
Matagorda Bay, Texas — October 16th, 2024
Debbie Harper: Alan, thanks for joining me. I have to ask—what inspired you to write “The Texas Country Music Awards at Halloween”? It’s such a unique concept.
Alan Nafzger: Well, Debbie, it’s great to be here. You know, Don McLean, who wrote “American Pie,” once said never to explain the lyrics, but maybe just this once, I’ll break that rule. I’m not so pretentious; “American Pie” is a classic that’ll be played 2000 years from now. This song might get a few spins on Halloween, and that’s good enough for me.
Debbie Harper: I think it’s going to be more than a few spins! But you said this song isn’t for the fainthearted?
Alan Nafzger: Oh, absolutely not. This thing is packed with history, Texas music legends, and a bit of ghostly humor. What are the odds people will catch all the references without a little help? It’s a narrative—a story, almost like a film. At one point, it did occur to me to write a movie around it, but Hollywood isn’t exactly open to outsiders these days. So, I’m selling my wares here in Texas. No movie, just a song, but it’s got that same spirit.
Debbie Harper: You do pack a lot of characters into the lyrics. Can you walk us through that a bit, verse by verse?
Alan Nafzger: Sure thing. Each verse tells a part of the story and brings in some personalities, both past and present. Let’s break it down:
Verse 1:
“Oliver Loving and Charles Goodnight rushed the stage…”
I started with Oliver Loving and Charles Goodnight because they’re icons of Texas cowboy history. The idea was to have these old-school cattlemen take over the stage and sing “Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie.” Then, you’ve got Judge Roy Bean—known as the “Law West of the Pecos”—pulling out a pistol and giving the award to the cowboys for being authentic. It’s a playful nod to the rough-and-tumble justice of the Old West.
Chorus:
“Wade lost to cowboys, threw a chair. Gary just grinned, ’cause he didn’t care…”
Here, I’m bringing in Wade Bowen and Gary P. Nunn—modern country artists but still deeply rooted in Texas. Wade’s reaction, throwing a chair, is a bit of humor, showing how the past and present collide. Gary’s just smiling because he’s seen it all before; nothing fazes him.
Verse 2:
“Guy Clark’s ghost challenged two young guns…”
Guy Clark was a Texas songwriting legend, known for his storytelling and poetic lyrics. In this verse, his ghost challenges two young guitarists to a duel. The joke is, these young guns thought they could match Guy, but they end up getting schooled. Before they know it, they’re being taken to Methodist hospital because they’ve been outclassed so badly. It’s a playful way of showing respect for the greats who paved the way and reminding folks that sometimes, experience beats youth.
Debbie Harper: Guy Clark was definitely a legend. It’s great how you worked in that competitive spirit, like a musical showdown.
Alan Nafzger: Exactly. Guy had a way of making everything look effortless, and I wanted to capture that. Just a pick, a grin, and some cowboy chords, and the new guys didn’t stand a chance.
Verse 3:
“Call watched Gus and Brandi Behlen cut the cards…”
In this verse, I brought in characters from Larry McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove. Gus McCrae, from the book, had a habit of cheating at cards, and here he’s outwitted by Brandi Behlen. It’s funny because Gus usually has the upper hand, but this time he loses—and to a woman, no less, which would’ve thrown him for a loop. Plus, there’s the bit about him being bald and ashamed, which adds to the humor. Brandi walks off with his hat, which she rightfully wins in a fair game or was it fair. It’s in the song because Gus cheated Lori out of a “polk” and now it’s only fair that Brandi cheat him out of his hat. Call might realize that Brandi cheated him but Call, of course, would figure Gus had it coming.
Verse 4:
“Don’t bother asking Willie about it; he missed it all…”
Willie Nelson is another iconic figure. In the song, he’s too busy playing poker with Johnny Bush, Waylon Jennings, and the guys from Bob Wills band on his tour bus to even know what’s happening at the awards. The kicker is, he wins a jet in the game, and not just from anyone, but from the ghost of Bob Wills. It’s a bit absurd but fits with Willie’s laid-back, anything-goes persona. Plus, winning a jet in a poker game? Only in Texas and only in the parking lot of Billy Bobs.
Debbie Harper: You’ve got such a mix of humor and history here. I heard you took some inspiration from “Monster Mash”?
Alan Nafzger: Yeah, “Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett was the go-to Halloween song when I was a kid, and I’ve been handing out candy every Halloween since I can remember. It was nice to finally create something of my own that could be played on Halloween. It’s like Halloween giving me something back after all these years.
Bridge:
“Farrah Fawcett crowned Sarah Hobbs, best hair flip…”
Farrah Fawcett is a Texas icon, too, so why not have her ghost show up and give out an award? It’s fun, lighthearted, and connects the different eras. The bit with Bill Pickett wrestling a steer—it’s about showing off his legendary skills even in the afterlife. The imagery of Johnny Bush singing despite the mic going out is classic Texas grit; nothing stops the show.
Debbie Harper: That’s such a great mix. You’ve mentioned some deep Texas history—did you expect listeners to catch all these references?
Alan Nafzger: Honestly, probably not. But that’s okay. It’s packed with so much that there’s always something new to pick up. It’s a song meant for Texas music lovers, for people who know their history and appreciate a little humor.
Debbie Harper: Who was Cooter and Ma Hog?
Alan Nafzger: My High School football coach used to say, “Turn out the lights and call the law.” He’d say that when things were going Western and there might be a fight. He’d say it before any conflict… violent or not. Cooter is Cooter Graw and Ma Hog was the first female Governor and I image she was pretty tough; maybe not I don’t know but she sounds cool – Ma Hog.
Debbie Harper: One last question—did you know who Bill Pickett was before you wrote the song?
Alan Nafzger: (laughs) I did, but I’m not surprised if people don’t. Bill Pickett was a Black cowboy who invented bulldogging, a rodeo technique. I thought it’d be fun to have him ghost-wrestle a Chevy 1500 just to remind folks of how cool he was. I think I’m done. But hey, Debbie, you sang it, so I’ll let you explain it from now on. I’m not cold; I’m just old, and you’ve got that recorder going.
Debbie Harper: Thanks for walking us through it, Alan. It’s a wild ride of a song, and I think listeners will have a great time unpacking all the layers.
Alan Nafzger: My pleasure. Hopefully, they’ll have as much fun singing it as I had writing it.
